The Victory We Never Win: On Games, Dopamine, and the Emptiness of Modern Life
A reflection on why adults play games: from stress relief, the need for control, instant dopamine, to the existential emptiness of modern life. This essay is written to understand the motives behind gaming habits, rethink the direction of our lives, and gently remind ourselves to return to a more meaningful presence in reality.
1. A Weary World
We live in an age where people search for escape more often than meaning.
Days rush by, heads filled with targets, bodies tired but minds rarely at rest.
Amid that constant noise, games become the safest place to hide—
demanding no explanations, offering no judgment, only a small space
where we can feel capable again.
There, we become someone once more: strong, agile, in control.
In a world that often makes us feel small, games seem to return
the sense of power we’ve lost.
No wonder millions of adults—not children—play today,
not to win, but to feel alive for a moment.
2. Why We Play
Not everyone plays for the same reason.
Some do it simply to unwind after work.
Some turn it into a profession—disciplined, competitive,
carrying the pressure of any other career.
And some say, “It’s better to play games
than to gamble, drink, or fall into something harmful.”
Perhaps all those reasons hold truth to a certain extent.
But beneath the many motives lies one shared longing:
we’re looking for something hard to find in the real world—
a sense of victory, a sense of worth, a sense of enough.
Simple things, yet often missing in a modern life
that demands far too much.
3. The Virtual World and the Illusion of Control
Games offer a world that is neat and logical.
Fail, retry. Lose, learn. Win, continue.
No bureaucracy, no injustice, no unpredictable chaos like real life.
Maybe that’s why we stay.
In the virtual world, everything can be repeated until success.
In real life, one mistake can change everything—
and not every wound can be restarted.
Every level gained gives a rush of achievement,
even if that achievement ends on the screen.
That’s where dopamine comes in:
instant reward without real risk.
Little by little, the mind starts believing
that small, quick victories are enough
to replace long, difficult journeys.
4. Recharge vs Escape
Playing games is not always wrong.
Sometimes, it is simply the most accessible form of rest—
a way to calm the mind without having to speak to anyone.
For some, it even feels like a kind of modern meditation:
full focus, temporarily detached from the world.
But the line between recharge and escape is incredibly thin.
Recharge prepares us to return to real life.
Escape makes us forget that real life is still waiting.
The problem isn’t the game itself,
but the reason we can’t stop.
Because when escape becomes a need,
what we lose isn’t just time—but direction.
5. Professionalism and the Illusion of Productivity
Some people play professionally.
They train, compete, earn income, even build new industries.
And that is valid—no different from actors performing
or athletes competing.
Yet even at the highest levels, the question remains:
when the lights fade and the screen goes dark,
what truly remains?
No matter how beautiful,
a game is still an artificial world.
Victories there are real emotionally,
but fleeting in existence.
And therein lies the paradox:
we seek meaning in something
that was never designed to provide it.
6. The “Better Than Something Worse” Argument
It’s true—playing games is far less harmful
than drinking, gambling, or infidelity.
But justifying a habit because
“it’s better than something worse”
often makes us forget to search for
what is genuinely good.
Life is not measured by how few mistakes we make,
but by how far we grow.
And growth does not come from self-justification,
but from the courage to face ourselves honestly—
including the moment we realize
that we’ve been filling a void
with something that doesn’t truly fill it.
7. From Playing to Building
Perhaps we don’t need to stop playing entirely.
But we can redirect its energy—
from conquering digital worlds
to conquering real challenges.
The desire to win, to improve, to become better—
these are not owned by games;
they belong to humanity.
And when directed toward the right place,
the same energy can create work, knowledge,
even civilization.
Because in truth, games teach many things:
strategy, perseverance, focus.
We simply need to carry the lessons
out of the screen.
8. An Invitation to Step Away from Games
At some point, we need the courage to say “enough.”
Not because games are sinful,
but because life is too short to be repeated endlessly without direction.
Closing the console, deleting an app,
or simply declining an invitation to play—
these may seem like small acts,
yet they are signs that we are beginning
to reclaim ownership of our lives.
Sometimes, letting go is not about resisting pleasure,
but about restoring control over ourselves.
And if you still feel a hint of regret
after playing for too long,
that’s a good sign—your heart is still alive,
your conscience still responds.
Be grateful if you can still feel that discomfort,
because it means you still want to change.
9. A Reminder for Muslims
For those who believe, God has already given gentle reminders in the Qur’an:
“By time. Indeed, mankind is in loss— except for those who believe, do righteous deeds, and encourage one another to truth and patience.” (Qur’an, Surah Al-‘Asr 1–3)
And the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“There are two blessings that many people are deceived by: health and free time.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)
There is also a profound warning:
“When Allah intends ill for a servant, He preoccupies him with things that bring no benefit.” (Reported by Ahmad, authenticated by Al-Albani)
Time is the currency of life.
It cannot be repeated, stored, or returned.
Every hour we lose in the virtual world
is an hour that will never return in the real one.
10. The Victory We Never Win
We keep chasing victories on the screen,
yet what we truly long for is victory within ourselves.
Not about the score,
but about the feeling of being enough.
Not about a character leveling up,
but about a human being growing aware.
In the end, human beings will always seek play.
But a good game should make us more alive,
not more hollow.
Perhaps behind all the games we play,
the hardest one to finish
is the one called life.
And maybe, true victory comes
when we stop playing to escape—
and begin living to be fully present.